Frankly, I've no idea why. I'm feeling dejected out of the sudden. About the loss of him, years ago. Not very long, in fact. It happened just three years ago. Sometimes, when I come to think about it, it seems like many donkey years ago. I miss his laughter, miss his smile with the dimple and the time we fight(verbally) over small matters like television drama. Well, it's not really that sort of "verbal fight." Sort of kidding around. I miss him alot. My beloved dad.

It was in year 2002, he left us to a place farway. He'lll never be back. Never ever. I used to think. WHY! Why am I the unfortunate teenager who lost his dad. I have been telling myself, I have to move on. Earth will never stop turning just because of the loss of one person. At least this keep me going. Although, I tell myself that. I do feel sad sometimes. Just like today. The sadness hit right on me. I hope I can be the "me" in the past, who can cry whenever I 'm sad. But it seems like my tears have dried up. No longer able to cry as and when I'm sad. A man will alway have to hide their sadness in the bottom of his heart.

That particular day, three years ago was a dramatic happening to me. That day, everything seems like a drama scene of losing a dad. Never did I expect the usual drama scene to happen in my life. This heartwrenching incident seems like it happened just yesterday. I can clearly recall what had happened on that day. The silly me was delighted when the school clerk summoned me out of the class. I thought I was going to collect my IC card. Indeed, I was suppose to collect the IC card. However, it isn't the only reason for the summon. I had a call. An unexpected call from my mum at the hosiptal. My mum told me my dad wasn't going to make it till tonight. I was astounded by the news. I wasn't ready to receive this news in the first place, and I teared.
Not long after the call, my aunt arrived. She drove me to the hospital. We received another call from my cousin when we were in the car. "Uncle is dying, come quickly." At that very moment, I collapsed, tears came gushing down my cheek like a flowing tap. Everyone in the car including my grandmother, my aunt and cousins cried bitterly. We were all too afraid that we can't see him for the last time. I did manage to reach on time, before his departure. When I reached, he was already in coma. "Dad! Dad!", I called out There isn't any response. A while after I reached, he left. No goodbye. Nothing. Without myself realising, I was sobbing uncontrollably.

How I wish he is with me now. Joking with me like he used to joke with me in the past. Miss the days we sat on sofa talking about the drama. Miss joking with him about how bad his singing is. Why has cancer found him. It's unfair! Extremely, I would say.
Without him in the house, everything has changed.

Million of thanks to my relatives. Without them, I can't imagine what my life will be now.

AND seriously SMOKING kills! It sucks alot!

Million of Misses,
Don